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Recommendation | Ask Amy: I mentioned I might assist with the lodge invoice — not pay the … – The Washington Submit


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Pricey Amy: My grownup niece lives a number of hundred miles away, and mentioned she needed to return go to us in Florida together with her husband and their new child. Since they each work, the go to can be just for three or 4 days.

I mentioned after all, and we tossed dates round. I gave them some suggestions of beachfront lodges inside strolling distance from our apartment, because it’s not giant sufficient to soak up two further adults and a child. I mentioned I may “assist” with their lodge prices. I plan on choosing up the tab for meals after we are collectively.

Just a few weeks in the past, she let me know that they didn’t choose one of many lodges inside strolling distance to our apartment, however somewhat they booked themselves in a resort-style lodge, 10 miles away. This may imply extra shuffling round, as the whole lot might be executed by automobile.

She then mentioned that she didn’t need me to get “sticker shock,” however I ought to know the lodge invoice can be $1,700. I had been considering maybe I may contribute $500 to their housing prices, which might have come near overlaying their complete keep for a number of nights in a neighborhood lodge.

They’re of their early 40s and each work. I wish to be gracious, and I’m blissful they’re making the trouble to go to. However I used to be shocked to be taught that my provide to “assist” was translated to choosing up a big lodge invoice.

I doubt I’ve ever paid that a lot for myself in a lodge. If I’d recognized I must choose up the tab, I in all probability would have advised one other time of yr when costs are usually not at seasonal highs.

This has left me feeling a bit taken benefit of. Do you’ve gotten any recommendations for a way I would take pleasure in their go to with out being resentful?

Conflicted: Your niece has handed you a gap, in addition to the language to make use of when responding.

And so you may say, “Sure — ha-ha — I do have sticker shock, and thanks for understanding that value can be a problem for us. We are able to afford to contribute $500 towards your keep, and can be blissful to try this. Different lodges alongside the seashore are way more inexpensive, however I’ll go away it as much as you to make your determination. Wanting ahead to seeing you!”

Pricey Amy: I’ve a 13-year-old daughter. She is an effective child, has good mates, does fairly nicely at school and participates in theater. She’s additionally headed into these more durable teen years. She’s moody, however doesn’t appear depressed. Doesn’t appear to like hanging out with household the way in which she used to.

However I bear in mind some of these items from my very own teen years. Anyway, she simply instructed me that she desires to shave her head. (She has actually beautiful hair, by the way in which.)

I’m undecided learn how to react to this, and I’m questioning what you suppose?

Confused: Hair is without doubt one of the few renewable assets we people possess. My level is that monkeying with hair is without doubt one of the lower-impact decisions a teen could make.

Shaving her head appears a radical selection, however it’s a more healthy one (for my part) than wanting extensions, as an example. It is best to ask her why she desires to do that, not freak out about it, and guarantee that if she decides to do it, she considers the chance to donate her hair to Locks of Love, Wigs for Children, or one other charitable group.

Pricey Amy: I’m a monetary adviser and have been for the final 20 years. I disagree along with your recommendation to “Doting Dad” concerning monetary disclosure and sharing their will with their grownup kids.

On condition that the children and spouses are all deemed reliable and sincere, I might say it’s higher to offer them some element. They don’t want account numbers however realizing that Dad has an IRA at XXX price XXX is nice information for them.

If one thing occurs to Mother and Dad, it’s higher to have a working begin on this stuff. Discussing what kind of accounts there are and what they’re invested in early could be very useful. There have been a number of occasions in my profession the place the children don’t know what’s the place and it’s a mess to type out.

Adviser: You and I agree that these mother and father ought to disclose “some element” about their estates. Thanks for sharing your experience.

©2022 by Amy Dickinson distributed by Tribune Content material Company

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